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Dan's Note: This is a required 'First Math Joke.' (Someone sent it in, too!)
Answer: The directions on the shampoo bottle were: "Lather...Rinse...Repeat."
Question: What do you call a bird that flew away from home? (top) Answer: Poly-gon ! . . . . ha ha ha (from my ex-trig student Will)
Question: How can a cat have nine legs? (Yes, legs, not lives) (top)
F dr = madFrom Nikita K., who "came up with this while studying for AP Physics exam. Who knows, maybe I got a 5..."
r = d = distance ; a = acceleration ; m = mass ; F = force = ma (Newton's Law)
The Deadly Differential Operator - Sent in by my former student Ben Louie (top) A constant (linear) function and an exponential function are out walking, when,
off in the distance, they spot a differential operator. The constant function criesout, turns around, and runs away. The exponential function quickly follows. The exponential function asks, "Hey, come on, what's the matter? Don't you want to meet her?" The constant function replies, "Well... no. She's a differential operator. If we meet, she'll differentiate me, and there'll be nothing left of me!" The exponential function nods. "Okay, then; I'll go and talk to her. She doesn't scare me -- I'm e to the x!" With that, the exponential function walks, alone, to the oncoming differential operator. He introduces himself, "Hi! I'm e to the x." The differential operator replies, "Hi! I'm d/dy."
A Former $tudent Makes Good -
Sent by Barry Thompson
This morning I saw an old math student of mine, dressed in a beautiful suit and getting into a Rolls Royce. I walked up and asked him if he remembered me and he said yes. I said, "I don't like to mention it, but you were possibly the worst math student I ever taught, but you look like you're doing OK for yourself" "Yes", he said. "I buy steaks at the market for $1 and sell them around the restau- rants for $6. I'm only making 5% profit, but it's turned out pretty well really" Enclosing the Maximum Area (top) (This and many other jokes can be found on the wonderful pages
"Mathematical Humour" collected by Andrej and Elena Cherkaev)One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence off the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..."and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said,"I declare myself to be on the outside."
